Maybe it had something to do with solid communication and working together as a team instead of an individual. Maybe it was the fact that life was simpler, or maybe it had something to do with solid foundations built with respectable values. Whatever it may be the union of marriage has seemed to change with the times. Lifetime relationships based on hard work and faith have almost become obsolete, maybe not for everyone, but enough to take notice. While I cannot speak for everyone and certainly do not claim to know all the answers, I can speak from experience. That experience comes from talking with my two sets of grandparents who have both been married 50 plus years.
Life was simple. Not easier, just simpler. My Grandma Ravee¢ and Grandpa Dave talked about a household with less stuff; less electronics, less gadgets and more quality family time. More people cooked and ate at home, ate dinner at the table as a family and worried less about “keeping up with the Joneses.” A lack of solid family time at home is replaced with a busier lifestyle that often overlooks the basics. My Papa Dave had similar thoughts, “We had a telephone, that’s all we had. Now you have all this trick stuff. We didn’t have to worry about the fast paced life.” More gadgets, more pressure and more stress may be in our daily lifestyle, but does that become an excuse to slack on one of the biggest commitments we make in life? Marriage is a commitment that should be held to the upmost value. More weight from finances, housing and job security are pushing down on the household, but that doesn’t mean the foundation should crack. A foundation created with faith, promise and value should not crack.
My Nana Diane felt communication played a major role in the success or failure of a marriage. “You have to problem-solve because issues come up every day of your life.” Marriage is a partnership and every day includes something new. Decisions should be based together. Another piece of advice from my Grandma Ravee¢ was, “Don’t try to change your partner. Accept your partner as who they are.” Accepting your partner also means accepting them as a part of you. When I called my Grandma Ravee¢ and Grandpa Dave, my Grandma answered all my questions as “we” instead of “I.” I asked her how she was doing and she answered, “We are doing great.” Automatically including my Grandpa with her without thinking much of it. My Nana Diane and Papa Dave were the same way, two people coming together as one and thinking for each other instead of their own. Fifty-plus year marriages should never become a thing of the past. Marriages should have foundations that don’t give easily. Foundations built to last a lifetime.
Casey Rowley is a freelance writer and preschool teacher for Sunshine Learning Centers. For comments email: caseymrowley@yahoo.com.