The summer is upon us, once again, which means school is out and kids schedules are about to change. For separated and divorced families, summer can create higher levels of anxiety as parents have to juggle modified schedules with the kids and deal with separate summer vacations.
Of course, parents aren’t the only ones fretting. Summer can also be hugely stressful for kids as they move between households. Even when circumstances are amiable and cooperative, the change from school schedule to summer routine can set kids on edge.
To help kids enjoy their time with each parent, here are some tips for making the summer switch-up successful for everyone:
Help kids have a successful experience
Help build kid’s excitement about their summer getaway with the other parent. Spend time talking it up, making a summer calendar or brainstorming ideas about ways to make it special. Pack special items from your home that children can use and enjoy while at the other household.
Be respectful of each other’s custodial time
Support the children’s relationship with the other parent and avoid competition. Kids just want to spend time with their parents. As long as parents are present and attentive to their children’s needs, children are happy.
Talk openly with your kids about summer schedules
Older children will likely have some input over summer schedules, so engage them early as plans for the summer begin to solidify. What activities will they be involved in over the summer? Will they attend summer camp? Be mindful about including your children in conversations about the impact of summer schedule changes and what it might mean to co-parenting arrangements.
Do not stick your kids in the middle.
Summer is a time of fun and relaxation for your children. Do not make them choose between parents. You can have plenty of fun planned without making it a competition between households. Parents who openly support and encourage their children’s time with the other parent preserves their children’s self esteem.
Remember, one of the most challenging parts of co-parenting is cooperation. By planning and communicating with each other in a civil and cooperative manner, you can make the summer break fun and stress-free for both your children and yourself. Parents who get along give their children the most important gift they will ever receive. So, step up and take the high road for your children’s sake.
If you need further assistance with cooperative co-parenting for divorced and blended families, please feel free to contact Ellen Bradley-Windell, L.C.S.W. at 661-259-8200, x4 or www.valenciacounselingassociates.com.