The decision to get started with a divorce is a very big one to make. When initially consulting with an attorney, this issue is one of the first you will have to grapple with. Some clients come in for a consultation so that they can know what their rights are in the event one of the spouses files for divorce some time in the future. Other clients know for certain that there is no choice but to proceed with a divorce and they want to get started right away. Even if there is no doubt that divorce is the only way to proceed, it does not make the process any easier.
Having practiced law for more than 18 years, I have come to realize that a divorce can be analogized in some respects to a right of passage, just like graduation, or any other milestone in one’s life which brings about change. The process is somewhat of a cycle which I often see repeated. For you Simpson fans, in the second season, episode 11, Homer eats some bad sushi (a blowfish) and learns that he is going to die. The episode is called One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish. Anyway, Homer goes through the five stages of grief. He does them one right after the other, which makes the episode particularly funny. The last stage for Homer and the rest of us is acceptance.
Divorce really is a process. And here is why I say it is a good thing. When I look back at all of the clients I have had over the years and compare them at the point of time when I initially met them for that first consultation with the point in time when their divorce has been finalized, the vast majority of them are much happier having gotten rid of their spouse. Maybe it is because by the time they first see me they have made up their mind that divorce is the only way to go, but in just about all of the cases I see, the decision to divorce is a much better decision than to stay married and be miserable. And that is why divorce can be a good thing.
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