With the holidays comes the opportunity for ex-spouses to fight with one another over splitting up custodial vacation time. Some, albeit the minority, of my clients have a loose custody agreement which works to the advantage of both parents because they can decide amongst themselves how to fairly divide the time. Other clients have a very detailed custody arrangement precisely because the parents cannot fairly decide how to allocate the time between them.
Then, there are the parents, usually in the early stages of their divorce who do not have a detailed custody agreement in place and cannot agree amongst themselves on anything, much less how to divide a three week period. Unfortunately, there are also those clients that have been entrenched in custody litigation forever who cannot agree amongst themselves on a fair schedule.
Fair really is the key. It is a good thing that the kids get a break from school. Each parent should share in that benefit. What parents who fight fail to understand is that the kids want to spend time with both of their parents. Do you really want to be resented by your children for depriving them from seeing your ex? If you have the kind of relationship where you and your ex cannot compromise and are not able to agree upon anything, then you probably need a very detailed custody agreement. There is a judicial council form that contains a list of most of the major holidays so that you do not have to reinvent the wheel. It is often fair to switch holidays in the odd and even years. So the parent having the child for Thanksgiving in 2013 will not have the child in 2014. Or, if the parents coordinate, one parent has the child for an early thanksgiving meal and the other parent has the child for a thanksgiving dinner, with the schedule reversing the next year. The key again is fairness. For the sake of your children. And if you can’t do it, your Judge will have to. But that will cost you a lot of money in legal fees and you are likely to wind up with an arrangement that you may not be happy with, especially because it did not result from compromise.
For all of your family law needs, contact the Marcus Law Firm at 661-257-8877.