There is no better way to lose custody than demonstrating to a judge you are not involved in raising your child. Usually, one parent is more responsible in caring for the children’s basic needs, the “primary caretaker”. If you don’t invest time for homework, feeding and fulfilling the basic needs of your child, you are at a disadvantage in a custody case.
There are other ways to lose the primary caretaker role:
1. Not being active in your child’s schedule and activities: Do you know the names of your child’s teachers? Have you supervised play dates or taken your child to the doctor? If the answer is “no”, it indicates that someone else is the primary caretaker.
2. Alcohol, drugs, or other “parental fitness” issues: A parent who even casually partakes in alcohol and/or drugs is in danger of losing custody. Most judges take allegations of substance abuse seriously. If an allegation is made, it could be investigated through drug testing and other means.
3. Domestic Violence: Perpetration of domestic violence by one parent will have a profound effect on custody orders (see FC Section 3044). If you are the perpetrator of domestic violence or abuse (which often coincides with alcohol use), it is almost a guarantee you will lose custody.
4. Loss of Control: More than once I have seen parents attend court hearings and lose their temper in front of the judge. If allegations regarding your parenting skills involve quickly losing your temper with the children, don’t prove that allegation by losing your temper in court.
5. Disparaging the other parent: Judges tend to favor a parent who demonstrates they support the child’s relationship with the other parent. A parent who constantly denigrates the other will lose favor in a custody dispute. Extreme cases with allegations of parental alienation and withholding parenting time could result in a change of custody.
If you want primary custody, you must recognize the value and take steps to encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent and show the judge you promote the best interests of your child. It can be difficult to put your feelings aside, but for your child’s sake, that is exactly what you must do.
For more information about family law matters, contact The Reape-Rickett Law Firm at 661-288-1000, located at 25152 Springfield Court, Suite 100 in Valencia.