What do I see on the calendar for the month of March? I see St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, and most importantly my wife’s birthday.
I better start with my wife, Diana’s birthday. I don’t know what I am going to get her yet, but I do know what I won’t be getting. I was listening to the radio just before Valentine’s Day and I heard a commercial to have a star named after your lover as a gift. Yeah, you heard me. It seems people are willing to pay $54 to have a star named after someone, and then “Registered” in book form at the U.S. copyright office.
Is seems to me that that this requires a pretty big leap of faith. Does the word gullible mean anything to you? I’ll tell you what — I will name a star after you for free. It is the forth one down from the Big Dipper. I will even throw in a cloud, a rock and a tree. Tell everyone they are all registered in the U.S. Copyright office. The next time they are in the U.S. Copyright office, just browsing through the registrations, if they have trouble finding them, have them call me.
I’ll tell you what else I won’t be getting her. A teddy bear or a flannel pajama-gram. If I show up with any of these, I will end up outside wearing the pajamas, holding the teddy and gazing at the stars.
“Yeah, Honey, I looked at the diamond tennis bracelets, the Gucci wrist watches, and the Prada handbags, but I decided on a teddy bear, flannel jammies and I got a star named after you!”
I’ll see stars all right! Diana really doesn’t care what I get her. She knows that she has already bought her next seven birthday presents on HSN and QVC.
I do love the way women love to celebrate birthdays. It is always women who organize big birthday parties at J.R.’s Comedy Club. I love them for that. We are like grown up Chuck E. Cheese!
Let’s see if I can get in St. Patty’s Day and Easter. I have Tim O’Rourke booked for St. Patty’s week. That is the same week as Easter this year. I believe, that the human race would get along better if we accepted that every religion has something about it that could seem silly to people of another faith. I happen to be Catholic. Suppose I walked up to a Hindu and said, “We have the real religion. Our God died for our sins and rose from the dead to save our souls. To celebrate that, we have a giant invisible rabbit bring colored eggs to our children!”
Have a great month of March! For more information or reservations, please call 661-259-2291 and visit www.comedyinvalencia.com .