As the days grow shorter and we ready ourselves for a new school year, it is a good time to take inventory on our children’s behavior. A measure stick or reality check that I often give to parents is this: Imagine that you are a teacher in a classroom with twelve (preschool) to thirty (high school) children. Now imagine your child’s behavior times 12, 20, 30 or whatever the case may be. Is your child’s quirkiness still cute and endearing?
I was working with the family of a three-year-old who liked to pour his water on his food while he ate. When he had enough to eat, he emptied his glass of water in his plate or bowl. His parents were not exactly pleased by this behavior, but they did not find it so objectionable either until I brought out the measure stick. As this three-year-old will be starting preschool, I pointed out what lunchtime might look like for his preschool teacher if twelve little ones began pouring water on their lunch at the table. His parents quickly stopped this behavior and established a new and much needed boundary for their child.
Our children are in desperate need of consistent and firm boundaries, but so often parents are worried that if they are too strict, they will impede upon their child’s independence. If you can be a strong, compassionate and unwavering leader for your children and provide clear boundaries and consequences, your children will stop testing the limits and accept your wise leadership. But if you give too much power to your children, they will be overwhelmed and act out with a series of behavior issues. Our children are begging us to take charge and make good decisions on their behalf. When we set healthy limits for our children, they internalize our leadership, and in time can set healthy limits for themselves. The most assured way to raise children who are independent and have good judgement and make good decisions, is modeling strong leadership skills for them when they are young. Sandray Parenting can help you be the parent your children are asking you to be.
For more information, please call 661-998-0058 or visit www.SandrayParenting.com .