Holiday Visits with Aging Loved Ones

 As has been said, it’s the most wonderful time of the year! And so again, time for my annual sharing of an important message. Holidays are a wonderful time of the year, and frequently they are the one or two times a year we are able to spend time with parents or other aging loved ones. If we do see them daily, sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees, and may not recognize a cognitive and/or physical decline. Regardless of whether you see someone daily or occasionally, here are some recommended “Quick Check” activities.
1. Accompany your parent or loved one to their next doctor’s appointment. Hear firsthand what the doctor has to say.
2. If your parent drives, run an errand with him/her, observe their driving skills and determine if their abilities present any concerns.
3. Look in the refrigerator. What’s inside? Do they appear to be getting adequate nourishment?
4. How is their hygiene? Do they smell clean, or is a bath needed? How about breath? Does it appear that teeth are being brushed regularly? How is overall appearance in terms of hair, grooming and ability to match clothing? Are the linens and towels clean?
5. Do basic tasks seem to be more challenging, frustrating or time consuming for your loved one? Example, getting ready to go out, preparing a meal, everyday coping, etc.
6. Does it appear that they are able to take care of their personal finances sufficiently? Is there a reasonable amount of cash in his/her wallet?
7. Does it appear that the mail is normal or is it stacking up? Do you see any suspicious items like possible past due or shut off notices?
8. When your loved one sees people they know, are they able to remember names?
9. Is there an awareness of potential safety concerns (e.g., turning off the stove or coffeepot, extinguishing candles or cigarettes properly, awareness of sharp objects, wet floors, etc.)?
Unfortunately, there is no magical age when you should start to be concerned about your aging parents or loved ones. Some people need assistance as early as their 50’s or 60’s, while others may remain self-sufficient into their 80’s and 90’s. The point is, be prepared, know what to look for, and be there for them when they need help.
Myles McNamara is owner of Comfort Keepers In-home care, providing assistance to seniors in the comfort of their own home. They are located at 23900 Lyons Avenue. He can be reached at 661-287-4200.