By 13 years old, 9.9 percent of kids have tried pot. That’s one out of ten. That’s alarming. How do you stop it? Can you stop it? When you try, it seems to go in one ear and right out. You tell them, “You’re making bad choices,” “You’re throwing away a perfect life,” “You’re ruining your opportunities – all that you’ve worked for.” You tell them it leads to other things, that they would be happier without it, that it rots their brains and slows down their ambition and drive, and that it makes it difficult for them to succeed and be healthy both mentally and physically. It’s good advice, so why won’t they listen?
Because it’s not their experience. They can understand academically, that drugs do all these things. But it is not their experience. They enjoy it, just like so many of you did when you were their age, which is how many of you know it leads nowhere. They do not experience the mental slow down or the physical lethargy – it’s happening, but it happens so slowly they do not recognize it. So, since they hear what you’re saying, but their experience is in contradiction to it, they don’t believe you. The more you talk about it, the more they feel you’re either lying or exaggerating the situation. You lose credibility and then the worse thing happens – they stop listening to other things, too!
We all know that each individual needs to choose to do or not do something. It has to come from their own mind and of their own free will for it to stick. As a counselor, I do not “tell” my clients what to do. I “lead” them to the right conclusion. I am patient, realistic, talk openly about both the costs and the benefits of getting high. I can afford to be this way – they’re not my kids so I can remain objective! Something you cannot.
If you want your kids to “straighten out” or just avoid the whole thing altogether – you have to accept that “choosing” is a process. “Graduating” clients to levels of awareness and leading them to the right conclusions so they can begin to choose for themselves. They are the ones who choose either way. All that is left is what their choices will be.
Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Life-Coach. For more information, please call 661-299-1966 and email Scott@Life-Mind.com .