Your personal relationship might be the best place to invest your money in these difficult economic times. At times of great stress, where do human beings go for refuge? Of course, we know the answer: into the arms—or, onto the lap—of that loving being closest to us. This current economic crisis is placing such stress on couples that instead of resting safely in each other’s arms, they are reacting to each other in increasingly tense and angry ways.
When money is of major concern, couple’s counseling may seem like an unwarranted luxury. However, there are cheaper and more cost-effective ways to experience professional counselling than the weekly trek to the marriage doc. Psycho-educational workshops on weekends, that teach couples not only techniques and skills of listening and speaking to each other with respect and empathy, may be the ticket—especially when they also help the couple to develop deeper compassion for each other by understanding the sources of the power struggle that is driving them to distraction.
The slide in the global economy is creating additional sources of stress and anxiety for many couples, especially when they have different coping styles. One partner, for example, with issues of abandonment in her background, may feel totally abandoned and lonely when her partner withdraws. And he, carrying baggage of over-involved parents, may feel overwhelmed by her need to “talk about everything.”
Both of these ways of coping with increased anxiety can lead to or intensify already existing conflict. But, most couples do not understand—until they have broken out of archaic and previously unsuccessful means of trying desperately to force each other to change in order to meet their own needs—that conflict and tension, far from signalling a trip to the divorce attorney, might be God’s—or Nature’s—way of showing the couple that all of the stress and conflict is about their giving birth to the relationship of their dreams, not their nightmares.
In other words, “incompatibility” is no longer grounds for separation and divorce, but a sign of growth and a catalyst for positive change. With expert guidance the couple can learn in a weekend workshop how to use conflict as an opportunity to deepen their connection and compassion for each other, to transform frustrating and toxic energy into co-creative loving energy, and to work together as a team to face whatever economic and personal challenges might arise.
For further information about Drs. McCann and their weekend workshops for couples, you may contact them at 661-713-4370 or visit their Website www.relationship-coaches.com. Drs. McCann are licensed Child Psychotherapists, Family Therapists, and Relational Counselors with 50 years experience between them.