The key factor to balancing family and work when one has a chronic illness such as diabetes, fibromyalgia, arthritis, migraines, etc. is self care. We should all be kind to ourselves and make sure we get time to rest and slow down. However, it just doesn’t seem so easy with working 20 to 40 hours a week, plus taking kids to and from school, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, plus participate in our kids’ activities such as soccer, Brownies, Boy Scouts, dance, swim, and the list goes on.
When I speak of self care I am talking about really looking at our behavior. Do we tend to be a bit of a martyr, and/or a perfectionist and want everything just so, done right now, can’t wait for later, or you can’t let someone else do it for you because they don’t know how or they’ll mess it up?
When we push ourselves we exacerbate the illness, and as a result the illness rears its ugly head and slows us down. And what happens then? Instead of realizing we need to change our pace, we get upset with ourselves, we feel guilty that we are not doing what we feel is being a good parent.
Part of self care is activity pacing. This means to look at all that needs to be done in a day, a week and a month. Realistically look at what you can do in a day without pushing yourself. Then create a list of what you absolutely have to do today and what can be put off for another day. Or perhaps you can think about whom else can do it for you, even if it means that you teach one of your older children how to do it. You might be surprised —your child might be excited to do this grown-up job to help you, but remember leave out the perfectionism. When you give a responsibility to a child, which is age appropriate, and they are successful at it, it boosts their self-esteem, plus you are teaching them teamwork. When scheduling your days remember to incorporate in time for a 15- to 20-minute breather where you can read something inspirational, meditate or do self-hypnosis. You will be surprised how this can refresh you as it takes you away from the intensity of the day and brings you back to center.
For more information, please call me at 661-252-7026 or visit my website at www.wishhealth4you.com .