Every mediator has his or her own style. Good mediators have more than one effective style. The tone of a mediation should vary based upon the participants. In many cases, one of the parties believes that the other side is not hearing what is being said. In this case, it is important for the mediator to reach out and make sure that the communications of both sides are being effectively received. It is very important for each side to know how the other is feeling. A good mediator will be able to get those communications across and make sure that both sides express their feelings and concerns. It is only once everything is out in the open that the parties can effectively begin negotiating with one another.
In selecting a mediator, you should have a comfort level with the person that is going to serve as a neutral. It is therefore important to interview that person and get a feel for his or her personality and see if it is compatible with your needs. Good mediators need to also be able to be tough when it is necessary. If a person is being unreasonable, the mediator should be able to tell the person so and re-direct them towards the goals of a mutually beneficial settlement.
Remember that mediators, like people, are not all the same and it pays to take the time to get to interview the mediator before deciding to place your fate in his or her hands.
For questions about mediation in general, feel free to call United Mediation Services at 661-257-8877.