You were happy when your widowed father finally met a nice lady and started going out and having fun again. But now, when you call him, the lady friend tells you he’s busy – every time. When you do talk with him or see him, he looks clean and well groomed, but the conversation seems vague. For a moment, you wonder if dad actually recognizes you.
Then you find out that dad has amended his estate plan to provide for his new friend. You take a look at the trust documents, and the attorney who drafted them is not the one your parents went to when they first set up their living trust.
What is going on here? And is it even your business? We all have the right to change our minds, even when we get old, even when our kids don’t like it. But becoming dependent on someone who convinces us that no one else will be there to take care of us is dangerous, and at a certain point it’s no longer a matter of free will.
Petitioning the court for conservatorship is a drastic step, but it can help to get some information out in the open. The court will immediately assign a Court Investigator to evaluate your father’s circumstances and an independent attorney whose job is to interview the proposed conservatee and be his legal representative during the conservatorship proceedings. These two people have the power to review financial statements and current estate planning documents, interview witnesses, arrange for a geriatric neuropsychiatrist’s evaluation and make recommendations to the court.
A less intrusive court procedure may be available if your parents had an estate plan while your mother was alive. If their living trust required that some or all of mom’s assets go into a separate “bypass” or “decedent’s” trust at her death, then you may have the right to information about that trust. And those assets might be more protected from the actions taken by dad or his lady friend than dad’s own “survivor’s trust” assets. Even if the bypass trust was never formally funded after mom’s death, dad might be required to go back now and do so.
It can be emotionally devastating for the entire family when you start “interfering” in your parent’s personal life, after a lifetime of respecting and abiding by his decisions. Talk to an experienced estate and trust attorney before you take this step.
To contact us, please call 661-259-7930.
