I lost our keys and in the aftermath had to do something and quick, and not just about the keys. I found them after frantic backtracking, frustrated grumbling and frenetic accusing. I had to do something quick about the strength and health of our marriage. After loving each other for 25 years, successfully raising two daughters, navigating numerous negativities and surviving health crises, mortgage meltdowns, job transitions, natural disasters and ‘later in life’ college educational schedules (18 hour days with late night dinners over the sink) we had now faced our biggest struggle – misplaced car keys – and had lost.
After the ‘battle’ – involving an insane flare-up of tempers (where did that come from?), horrifying ‘existential’ explosions concerning the ironies of life pitching from the living, laundry, bed and into the bathrooms and accompanied by the tumbling of overturned furniture and far-flung slamming of toppling furnishings (Hey — watch it — that’s expensive!) — we finally found the keys pretty much where we had left them.
There’s a joke about a woman who offers a ride home to her yoga instructor. Strangely quiet as they climb into the car, the yoga instructor, noticing a small paper bag on the seat, interrupts the woman — who is struggling to make awkward ‘small talk’ during the long ride — and asks what’s in the bag. The woman replies, “A bottle of wine I got for my husband.” The wise old sage nods, “Good trade.”
Funny, how misunderstandings can be. We laughed about this joke, but could not avoid the underlying tension in it. Especially after a full week of counseling couples, many married over 30 years, now trapped in cycles of pain and struggle. One woman, after 39 years of marriage, had announced her filing for divorce by saying simply, “I’m done.”
Have you ever lost your keys? Or worse, the “keys” to life’s most valued gifts? Time Magazine’s 60th anniversary edition (1983) published an article, “The Most Amazing 60 Years”, reflecting upon the world at the time of the magazine’s inception with these words: “The atom was unsplit. So were most marriages.” Since this article, little has changed and much has worsened.
They say a good “spa day” includes a restful environment, rejuvenating treatments, relaxing moments, recuperative refreshments and time to meaningfully reflect on the essentials of life.
Does your marriage need a “spa day?” Perhaps it’s time to take one and find your “keys”.
For more information, contact PastorJimCPC@hughes.net or visit our website at www.centrepointe.org .
