Is Your Way the Best Way for Everyone?

One of my chores as a child was to water the outside plants with a hose.  Whenever my father saw me watering, he’d come out and criticize me.  He kept telling me to put my forefinger in front of the hose rather than my thumb, as it gave more control. No matter how many times I informed him my finger was too small, he kept insisting I do it his way… the only right way.
How many times have we pushed our way onto others?  Since our way makes so much sense to us, how could any other way be better?  There is no negative intent, as we truly feel our way is best.  We feel others would appreciate this new, better way.  Unfortunately, they rarely accept our way, yet alone appreciate it.
Conversely, how many times have you eagerly accepted someone else’s way that was pushed on you?  We view those pushing agendas onto us as insensitive; yet feel we’re altruistic when we educate others.  You see many self-help books on the market, promising a one-size-fits-all approach.  Raising all your kids the same way won’t make them turn out the same.  What works for one usually doesn’t work for all.  Treat people as individuals, just as you’d like to be treated as an individual.
It tends to be challenging for people to focus on results rather than familiar comfortable patterns.  Is our goal to legitimize our patterns or see progress?  How many times have you observed yourself or others pushing harder rather than changing the approach?  What is the likelihood of getting a different response from the same approach?  Ask yourself two questions before you say or do anything: 1) Will my choice move me further along my path toward my long-term objective (which means I must identify a long-term objective, not just short-term comfort or pleasure)? 2) Would I truly appreciate (not just tolerate) being on the receiving end of what I’m dishing out?  If you can’t answer yes, honestly, to both questions, look for another approach.  Considering the feelings of others truly is in your best interest.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-877-8378.