Friendship

 Friendship is the foundation for connections between two people. As a result of each person’s words and actions, the other feels safe to openly and honestly share thoughts and feelings while taking action on desires. Each knows whatever is shared will be appreciated and add to the relationship… never criticized, laughed at or minimized.
Both people prioritize reaching out to understand the other, over fighting to be heard. Any decision to say or do anything takes the feelings of the other into consideration, along with what will be accomplished by sharing those words or actions. They see the full picture and take action to enhance what already exists.
If they choose to share experiences or intimacy, it’s something desired and appreciated by both. Compromises are not about keeping track of winning and losing, but about seeking ways for both to win. They make sure their partner will enjoy the experience, not just focus on self-satisfaction.
Learning is a key component of friendship. The more people learn, the more opportunities they will have to add something special to the relationship, adding more depth and meaning to the relationship. The more they apply their learned knowledge, the more convinced they are that this is where they belong, where they have value, and where they are desired and enjoyed.
Friendship is based on mutual respect. Friends enjoy openly sharing all aspects of their being and their lives but never push themselves on the other or into that person’s life. They respect each other’s differences without expecting the other to conform. They understand each other’s sensitivities, treating the other’s sensitivities as they want the other to treat their sensitivities. They respect and support the other’s beliefs while feeling safe to maintain their own beliefs.
Relationships based primarily on physical arousal, financial support or anything other than friendship are more likely to be unstable over time and lead to frustration and disappointment. Develop and nurture friendship rather than rush to meet selfish needs. Healthy relationships add to the life of a complete person; they won’t make a person complete. Patiently work together and love.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-877-8378.