The Value of Criticism

 Everywhere we look, we observe people criticizing others. Since it’s so common, we believe it must be useful, but what is its use? What do we accomplish by being critical of ourselves or others?
Parents often believe the quickest way to motivate children to improve is to criticize them. If you observe the results, you’ll find, at best, you’ll get temporary and/or conditional change, usually just while they are being watched. Long-term change is primarily self-directed, while pressure from outside leads us to slow down. A more common reaction to criticism is a tendency to become more resistant to change, insistence on legitimizing the behavior and a reluctance to consider the feelings of the criticizer.
How does it feel when you get criticized? Do you feel closer to the criticizer or erect your protective wall? Don’t expect people to have a different reaction than you. What is triggered within you is identical to what is triggered within another.
Accusations are statements of fact about others. They are interpreted as criticism, and we respond similarly to them. We resent those who feel entitled to place themselves above us and point out our deficiencies. Rather than offer a hand when we fall, they step on us.
Academic critiques are designed to offer an expanded perspective, helping us to see what we may have been previously blind to. We put ourselves in a position to receive academic critiques when our goal is growth and advancement. Unsolicited advice, on the other hand, is rarely received positively. When people don’t seek our advice, what is our reason for giving it? Is it out of care for the other or a desire to promote ourselves?
So let’s look at the value of this common entitlement to criticize. When we compare ourselves with someone below us, we may feel higher, but does pushing them down further raise us higher? Criticism neither improves those criticized nor those criticizing. Do we maintain the familiar pattern, hoping for different results, or do we seek out more effective alternatives? It’s your life, your choice… and your actions will determine the results.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-877-8378.