Nice Guys finish last in Divorce Court

There is an old saying that “nice guys finish last”.  I don’t agree with that statement. Nice guys are wonderful husbands, and fathers and friends. They are the first to help you in need and will come bail you out at 2 a.m.  They coach their kid’s baseball teams, go to the Father-Daughter dances and secretly go get you Starbucks in the morning before you get out of bed.  However, being “nice” in Court, especially in divorce court, doesn’t always work.  You see, being “nice” in the litigation process is often viewed as being “weak”. And once an opposing party or attorney sees you as being weak, they up the ante in terms of their settlement demands. All of the sudden, the support you were paying without a court order becomes insufficient, or the parenting time you gave up for a special weekend event becomes a regular demand.
Obviously it is better for everyone involved if both parties engaged in a give and take, but usually when one party loses in divorce court, it’s because they were too nice for too long and it back fired. For example, let’s take a father who doesn’t demand equal parenting time from the outset of the case. He feels that the children need time to acclimate to two households and that his wife will give him the time in three to six months when the kids are “ready”. Well guess what… that three to six months, according to wife has now become the status quo and when father does finally seek the equal parenting time, he is likely to lose in Court because the kids are now “settled into a routine” and mom claims “they are functioning just fine on the reduced parenting time schedule”.  Father loses for being nice, and the kids lose for father being nice. Being “nice” when it comes to your first custody order is not the correct time. You can be nice after you have the 50-50 parenting order. You can be nice once your rights and responsibilities are established.
People are going to read this article and think to themselves that this article is too negative and promoting acrimony and litigation. That is simply not true. Anyone can agree to a 50-50 custody order the day after a case gets filed. Why not everyone “be nice” and enter into such an Order from day one? The reason is self evident.
For more information on your custody case, call Super Lawyer of the Year and Ultimate Female Attorney award winner Denise Placencio at 877-317-8080. Your divorce and your children deserve the very best.