View the Results of Your Choices

 It’s so easy to rationalize what we’ve done or place blame to explain results, yet where does that take us? Rather than maintaining familiar patterns that don’t give desired results, determine what changes you can make to improve those results. In therapy, it’s more common for people to expect to see change in others rather than change in themselves, yet change in oneself is an effective motivator for others to become open to change.
I look at my life and see choices I’ve made. I don’t regret those choices, even if the results may not have been what I sought, for each choice gave me opportunities to learn and grow, leading me to feel more comfortable and happier with the person I choose to be.
In college, I passed up a relationship opportunity, as she already knew herself, and I was struggling to discover myself. I could have stayed with her, but then I would have lived her life rather than discovering the life that fit me best.
I’ve chosen to trust people, till they prove otherwise, knowing many will take advantage, their words and actions not meshing. The negative results of this, along with my choice to value nature and simplicity have limited my income. Unfortunately, a limited income is challenging today for someone who places great value on quality relationships. Too many people are more interested in being provided a lifestyle than creating and nurturing a healthy relationship.
I understand the cost of choices I make, but I choose to be true to the person I am and not conform just to be accepted by others. I constantly fine tune my choices to be more considerate, understanding, respectful and productive, but I won’t compromise my true self. Settling to be in a relationship is never worth the cost.
Look at your choices. Are they working for you? If not, what do you want to do about it? Observe the bigger picture rather than rationalize being attracted to qualities that may limit long-term fulfillment. Focus on your role in every experience, and you’ll be happier with the results.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-877-8378.