The Power of Forgiveness

by Naomi Young | Sep 26, 2018 | For the Love of Dining

In the Jewish calendar at this time of year, we’re still in the process of deep cleansing. We ask for forgiveness for any wrongdoings we might have caused in the past. We realize the power of words. There is a concept in Judaism that making promises casually without considering the consequences is forbidden. In the Talmud, our Rabbis wrote, “It’s better to make no promises at all than to make them even if one is certain of fulfilling them”. In the Kol Nidrei prayer on Yom Kippur, we ask for forgiveness for not keeping our promises. We declare that all the promises we’ve made to God that have gone unfulfilled are null and void. One is expected to do everything they say they are going to do.
Sometimes promises are made haphazardly without even knowing if they can be fulfilled. Also, for various reasons, words might be spoken too soon. Despite having had the best intentions, trust gets broken and feelings get hurt.
It is unfortunate that we most often hurt the people who are the closest to us. Lingering feelings of anger and resentment only drain us and prevent us from moving on. Holding on to toxic thoughts and feelings only prolongs the healing process.
If we caused such an unpleasant situation, there is a solution. The choice to fix it, as always, is in our hands. Acknowledging your mistake is the first step. We need to accept accountability with no excuses. We must truly apologize directly to the person asking his forgiveness with a sincere intention not to repeat it in the future. That’s a true teshvah, repentance. Quoting Thomas Szasz: “The stupid never forgive nor forget; The naïve forgive and forget; The wise forgive but not forget”.
We have all erred before and wished for a second chance. The divine act of forgiveness is very liberating. Forgiveness is not a weakness; on the contrary, it shows great strength. With understanding, patience and compassion, a healthy relationship can be restored. It takes the willingness on both sides to move on and grow together, choosing to live in peace and harmony.

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