Spooky Times

 Halloween, when you’re separated or going through a divorce with children can be a spooky time if not approached with your children in mind. Halloween is one of those tricky holidays where both parents want to have that ‘fun and scary experience.’ So, what should you do so that everyone is able to have a good time, despite the fact that you’re no longer living in the same house together as a family? While Halloween isn’t nearly as tough on divorced families as other holidays, it is difficult in that it is only for one night. This year Halloween is on a school night so the opportunities to expand into the weekend present greater challenges. It’s only one night of walking the streets with your children saying the famed ‘Trick or Treat’ whereas Thanksgiving, Hanukkah or Christmas can be spread out over two days, or even a week.
Halloween is one of those holidays that are often forgotten when laying out a parenting plan. Parents remember Christmas, Hanukkah, and Thanksgiving but forget about Halloween, and that can become a source of contention since most kids report that Halloween is one of their favorite days of the year.
Some families split the day, others alternate years, while still others try to come together for the sake of the children. The good news is this is a relatively stress-free holiday.
Tips for separated or divorced families on Halloween:
1. Don’t put the kids in the middle. Don’t ask, ‘Do you want to spend Halloween at my house of your mom’s (or dad’s)? That approach tests your child’s allegiance.
2. Share your children. If possible, see if you can share the time so that all participate. Agree to share one neighborhood each taking the children half the time.
3. Treat the other parent well. Don’t use this occasion to reminisce about the pass or say negative things about your former spouse.
4. Take the children to a weekend trick or treat event
If all else fails, research other Halloween events are going on, such as haunted houses, neighborhood markets and stores that are having Halloween events, or have a costume party for your children and their friends on a different night. The alternatives are endless with a little creativity if you and the other parent are unable to reach an amicable resolution.
Try to adhere to the rule of ‘Put your children first’. Remember this is their fun day. Don’t loose perspective and hold tight to a visitation schedule that may force them to spend their time away from their friends simply because it’s your designated time with your child. In truth, it’s not your time or your ex’s time…it’s your child(ren)’s time.
For more information and to schedule your free consultation, please call The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman, P.C., at 661-255-1800 or visit us at www.chromanlaw.com. Mr. Chroman is a Trusted Advisor Award Winner and named Top 100 California Attorney’s with over 20 years of experience and local service. You can purchase Mr. Chroman’s bestselling Divorce Workbook at: www.amazon.com/Preparing-Divorce