Mutual Respect

The most effective relationships are those based on mutual respect. Unfortunately, though most people expect to receive respect, they usually don’t consider how their words and actions might be perceived as disrespectful by others. The more they demand respect, the less they end up getting. We respect those who show us respect. When you don’t feel respected, reach out to discover the other person’s perception.
Talking down to others and telling them what to do can be perceived as being told they’re too stupid to think for themselves. Talk to people as equals if you want the same reciprocated. Criticism will never be perceived as respectful. Help others come up with answers rather than be quick to give them the answers.
Differences are only a threat to insecure people. When we feel secure, differences become opportunities to expand our perspective. The broader our perspective, the easier it is to see opportunities rather than obstacles. The other person’s perspective makes just as much sense to that person as yours does to you. Would you easily give up your perspective?
How many things do you expect of a partner that you don’t believe your partner should expect of you? Don’t rationalize that you do other things; and don’t do things conditionally. If you feel disappointed by your partner, focus on how you can improve your approach rather than how your partner should change.
People use politics and religion to prove they are right and everyone else is wrong. You have the right to your beliefs, but you have no right to push your beliefs on others. Do you consider the impact on others when you legislate what they can or can’t do? Would you truly appreciate being on the receiving end of what you are dishing out?
It’s so easy to rationalize our dysfunction while blaming others. Stating it’s in the other’s best interest doesn’t legitimize our disrespectful approach. Does our rationale make sense to all involved? Let’s pass a law stating all elephants must fly. After all, it’s in their best interest… as then their weight won’t negatively impact their joints.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-877-8378.