When to Seek Help

People assume they should be able to solve their issues on their own, or they don’t want to divulge personal issues to strangers. An English proverb states, “A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.” Even attorneys recognize the importance of being represented by another attorney. If your method of addressing your issues isn’t giving you the results you’re seeking, doing more of the same won’t give you different results.

Everything you say in therapy is confidential, and therapists can’t legally divulge anything they hear. Therapists can consult with other professionals to gain insight into the challenges the clients present, but any consultations maintain the anonymity of the clients. If, after sharing something, you feel too embarrassed to face the therapist again, you don’t have to return, and whatever you shared remains confidential.
Therapists are human, so make sure whoever you choose to continue therapy with makes you their priority. You don’t want a therapist who is pushing a particular agenda or feeling entitled to demean or criticize you. If the therapist is unable to accept your preferences, find another therapist. Seeking a therapist who confirms you’re always right and everyone else is always wrong or just feeling sorry for you won’t lead to positive growth. You want someone who will accept your choices while helping you see how those choices impact others. Sometimes the choices we make and the results we seek are incompatible. Acquiring tools that help us to more effectively achieve our goals can be very helpful.
In a relationship, don’t wait till one or both feel the situation is irreconcilable. Once someone closes the door, that door is unlikely to be opened again. The earlier you address challenges, the easier it is to resolve issues. You may minimize your discomfort or assume you’re being too picky, yet it’s important to clearly share our thoughts and feelings with our partner. It’s fine to say something doesn’t work for you (or, even better, this is what works better for you). Prioritize both being both teacher and student. Measure progress not just maintain familiarity.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-877-8378.