Consideration

Though you probably expect consideration from others, how often do you consider the feelings of others before you say or do anything? Do you believe you’ll get from others what you refuse to give? People seem to be more likely to prioritize entitlement than consideration. People feel entitled to expect others to conform to their beliefs. Just as it’s impossible for you to make a decision that makes no sense to you, the same is true of everyone else. If we reach out to understand the other’s perspective, we’d probably see much less conflict in this world.
How does it feel when others are considerate of us? Consideration allows us to feel safe, let down our protective barriers and allows vulnerability. Knowing someone cares enough to consider our feelings and how decisions might impact us draws us closer and allows us to feel we belong and have value. Feeling considered motivates us to show consideration.
How does it feel when we’re considerate of others? Our fears subside. Since fears are based on unknown, gaining knowledge reduces our fears. When we show consideration, people feel safe enough to invite us in, giving a deeper understanding of themselves and their situation. This reduces our need to be on-guard, returning our resources to us and allowing us to use them for productive purposes. We accomplish more and feel better about ourselves.
All extremes require opposite extremes to maintain balance. Our society has promoted fear, hatred and divisiveness, claiming one extreme is right and the other wrong, yet both are dysfunctional. If we want to move forward, it’s easier when we meet in the middle. People assume compromise means allowing someone else to win once, so we can win next. Compromise is actually finding solutions where all feel their priorities are addressed.
As individuals, we may not have power to hold back an avalanche, but whenever we model consideration, we plant a seed that allows others to feel how good it feels to be considered and motivates them to pass it on. Let’s plant seeds and be patient. Our future lies in our hands.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-877-8378.