Three Warning Signs of Unresolved Grief

Studies show the average person will encounter 42 potential loss experiences in a lifetime. These can be anything from death and divorce to loss of job, loss of a friend and health issues. If these losses are not resolved appropriately, our mental and physical health sufferers.
Here are three warning signs of unresolved loss and grief. Are you suffering from any of these?
One of the most common symptoms is isolation. People get tired of hearing about our pain, and we get tired of hearing them say, “Just give it time” or “Keep busy” and “Be strong.” So, we stay home, flip on Netflix and order in. When people are shut off from others, however, anger, sadness and depression begin to interfere with our thinking processes.
Incomplete recovery over a lifetime creates unhappiness. When losses pile up, often beginning in childhood, feelings of hurt, anger and mistrust ensue. Aliveness and spontaneity are eaten away; relationships become limited. Afraid of being hurt, we lock our hearts away. We look for relief through distractions. Many “stuff their feelings” or try to numb themselves. But these losses eventually add up. Life is like running a race with 500 pounds around your neck.
Buried pain is very real. It has energy and will not go away on its own. The nature of unresolved grief seems to make itself known when least expected. Reactions become disproportionate. People who blow up at the slightest thing are usually those who have not resolved their inner pain.
Healing and recovery start by making a series of small and correct choices. The first one may be acknowledging that you are suffering and don’t want to hurt any more. So, this year consider taking the actions that could lead to your well-being and freedom. Call for a free appointment with a grief recovery counselor. Learn to finish unresolved loss issues in relationships and events in your past that limit your capacity for happiness. 
Jeff is in private practice in Santa Clarita.