My seven-year-old daughter recently asked me to define the word irony and I had a pretty hard time coming up with a simple explanation. I found it easier to give her some examples. Alanis Morisette’s song was a big help. But I recently realized that there was some irony in the names of the areas of the law in my law practice. My practice largely consists of business litigation, a smaller facet of civil litigation and family law.
Notice how the word civil appears next to litigation, which is ironic because litigation is rarely civil.
What is worse is the fighting that goes on in family law cases. It is also much sadder. Parents have an obligation when going through a divorce to consider the interests of their children. And many times, with all of the animosity and hate, they lose sight of this fact. I’ll admit that some divorces can be complicated. If there is a lot to divide, I can understand it. But that does not mean that the divorce has to be bitter.
What I find to be more perplexing is when a couple with no children and no assets is going through a bitter divorce. It becomes readily apparent that there really is nothing to fight over, at least in court. But that does not stop the parties from litigating. A few months ago I opined in an article that cases do not settle unless both parties want them to settle. This principle applies equally to divorce cases.
You cannot imagine how often I hear the words, “I am being more than reasonable but she (or he) doesn’t want to settle.”
In divorce cases especially, emotions run high. People that have decided to share their lives together have now become bitter enemies. Guttural emotions often fuel the desire to fight.
When couples with modest assets cannot amiably resolve their differences in a divorce, it is time to take a closer look at the situation and determine exactly what they are fighting over. If it is principle, they are clearly wasting their time and resources. When there is nothing to fight over, hurt is usually the underlying cause. It is imperative to get in touch with that hurt and learn how to deal with it. Litigating a divorce matter is not “dealing with it” and it should be somewhat obvious that it is not healthy. Unfortunately couples doing this often fail to realize what is really going on. That is what I call the Big fight over nothing. And it should be avoided at all costs.
For all of your family law and business litigation needs, contact the Law Offices of Richard A. Marcus at 661-257-8877.