With Your Family in Mind

The most debilitative and indicative symptom of Alzheimer’s disease is the gradual loss of words and understanding that are crucial to even the most basic communication that most of us take for granted. Alzheimer’s patients realize there is a problem, even though they may not have the capacity to understand what is happening. This can cause instances of confusion, fright and frustration for the person with Alzheimer’s disease as well as for loved ones and caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s.

We all experience loss; whether it be in relationships through divorce or death or friendship - Loss of job or pet, career or job, house or hope.  Loss is a universal human experience.  Yet we are so ill equipped to handle it when it happens to us. 
“Grief is the normal and natural reaction to any type of loss in life.” 

If you’re like me, spring cleaning is right up there with doing your taxes. Similarly, taking an honest look at what needs to be done in your relationships can be challenging. No one wants to admit or face that their relationship needs work or reassessment, and yet doing so can be a refreshing start to a healthier you.

There is a relatively new modality being used to treat and help solve many of the most stubborn cases of personality issues, disorders, deficiencies and defects.  It is called “Motivational Interviewing”.  I was introduced to this by my uncle, a respected psychologist in Michigan.  I was very pleased to realize that this “new” method was something I had been intuitively doing as a counselor for many years already. 

Most parents figure whatever the schools ends up offering them is the best that they will get.
Let me tell you something... nothing could be further from the truth!
Let’s put it this way. When you went to purchase a car - did you accept the first offer they made you, or did you look at their price as a “starting point” for negotiation?
Why is college any different?

Have you ever thought of becoming a foster parent or wanted to adopt a child in need of permanency? Koinonia Family Services is now serving the Santa Clarita and San Fernando Valleys, and is looking for families who want to provide safe, caring, and nurturing homes for children who are in need of short-term or long-term placement. Children in need of placement range from newborns to 18-year-olds.

“Hide not your talents, they for use were made, what’s a sundial in the shade?” – Benjamin Franklin
Divorce brings many changes.  One of the most difficult is for a spouse that sacrificed career and work to manage the home and family.  Divorce creates an obligation to participate in creating income while transitioning from a single household to two households.  This brief article will offer some resources to develop a plan on how to move forward.

The first question asked by many who consider filing bankruptcy is whether they qualify to file.  It would be nice if the answer were simple, or if there were a single formula to determine the answer.  Unfortunately, due to bankruptcy abuse in the past, Congress devised several ways in which a bankruptcy can be challenged, and possibly dismissed.  This article will focus on the issues regarding Chapter 7 filings, which is the most commonly filed bankruptcy type.

A situation occurring frequently in family law cases is where, after the parties are married, they decide to put the family residence in one spouse’s name for the purpose of refinancing with the intent of getting a better interest rate based upon the other spouse’s bad credit.  The parties eventually split up and the question in the dissolution proceeding is whether the house is community property despite the fact that the deed says the house belongs to one spouse as his or her separate property.

Cited by ACNL for Significant Contributions to Nursing Leadership. Katherine Bullard, R.N., chief nursing officer for Providence Health & Services, Southern California, received the Association of California Nurse Leaders’ Excellence in Leadership Award for the Southern Region.

Gardening has many health and therapeutic benefits for older people.  The love of gardening spans generations.  Its benefits extend beyond baskets of veggies or flowers nestled in a vase.  Gardening enriches your body, your diet and your spirit.
Seniors can get particular benefit because gardening:

The sooner an infant or young child can restore a healthy attachment to a primary caregiver, the more likely the child can develop healthy emotional relationship capacities.  Disrupted attachments can result in a myriad of problems from grief and loss to more serious disorders. 

A nursing home agreement is a binding contract that typically involves a large amount of money.  It is wise to have an attorney review the agreement before you sign it, so you can understand exactly what your rights and responsibilities will be. That can be especially true if you are signing a con­tract for an aging relative.
In a recent Connecticut case, Judy Andrien signed an ad­mission agreement with a nursing home ­on behalf of her mother.

I recently met with “David”, regarding his 88 year-old father who resides in a care facility, is frail, and has advanced dementia.  His father requires full time care, and is paying $3,600 in monthly care costs.  Unfortunately, his income is much less than his care costs.  As a result, David sold his father’s home and used the funds to pay for high-cost care facilities and other types of care. 

While there is no cure for Alzheimer’s, there are treatments and therapies that can slow the worsening of dementia symptoms and improve the quality of life for those with the disease and their caregivers. If you suspect your loved one is showing symptoms of Alzheimer’s, it is extremely important to be proactive by getting them to their physician, and if a diagnosis is made, to get a care team and plan in place as soon as possible.
First, know these 10 Warning Signs of Alzheimer’s:

Under Family Code, Section 760, generally, property that is acquired during marriage is considered community property. This is a pretty straight-forward definition. However, many cases have been litigated and appealed because determining when property is acquired, in reality, is sometimes not so easy to determine. For example, In re Marriage of Green, husband was in the military prior to marriage.

Hoping to save his children the cost and inconvenience of a probate proceeding after he died, Joe Client had executed a living trust. He had funded his trust, taking title to his assets as trustee of his trust.
Later, Joe re-financed his house.

We know this can be quite a balancing act, and one that you may be experiencing right now. Here are some tips for those going through a divorce or separation to help you stop and think before you attempt being (although we know you already are) a super-parent.
Many of my clients report feeling like a horrible mess of guilt and fear attached to their decision about parting, and one of the responses that can occur is what we in our office refer to as, unrealistic parenting.