Make Love Blossom

The month of February is full of celebrations. Of course, we have Valentine’s Day and Presidents Day. In the Jewish calendar, we celebrate Tu bishvat, the birthday of the trees. And I am celebrating the wedding anniversary to my husband and best friend of 45 years, Dennis. It was clear to me that my topic for this month’s article would be love and growth. While I’m no expert on the topic, I have a little experience and some tips to share.
How do I know that I’m in a healthy relationship? We have mutual trust, honesty, and loyalty. I know that we have each other‘s best interests in mind. I suggest finding somebody who makes sure you feel cared for, even during hard times. A supportive spouse/ partner/ friend /coworker will accept you for who you are rather than try to change you according to their own ideas and wishes. You should feel valued, equal, and deserving. Your opinions and dreams should be honored. Respect is when you feel free to get your own space, and be with others, your family, or your friends. Remember to love and respect yourself first, so you can do it for others.
Naturally, nobody is perfect, and life is not always a bed of roses. Arguments will happen. Know to address only the issue before it becomes a big deal. Share your feelings often, the good and the bad. Rather than accuse (“you did this”), use “I” language (“I feel” or “I need”).
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Instead of assuming that others can read your mind, communicate what you feel and need. When you need to apologize, take responsibility, do it sincerely, and learn from it.
Forgive and forget. A lot. After all, you want to maintain peace at home with the person who is so important in your life. Remind yourself why you chose to be with them in the first place. Good relationships are a two-way street that is constantly under construction. It takes a lifetime to “perfect” it. As Hermann Steinherr said, “The beautiful thing about love is that you just need to plant it once and nurture it and it will bloom into blossoms that would cover the valleys.”
Don’t ever take your loved ones and their love for you for granted. Treasure them. Compliment them often. Go on dates with your significant other. A short one-day trip just to change scenery is as good as a week in Hawaii. Hold hands, kiss them, hug them, laugh, and be silly. Take the time to really have fun together and you’ll keep falling in love with them again and again.
Naomi Young is a published writer and multimedia artist. She’s been a Jewish studies and a Bar/ Bat mitzvah teacher in Santa Clarita for 40 years. Contact her at naomiyoung7@yahoo.com Visit her website at www.naomiyoung.com.