With Your Family in Mind

With the holidays just around the corner, it’s important to remember the seniors in your family.  The holidays can be stressful for even the most laid-back folks, so imagine the toll on those who are not used to all the hustle and bustle in their lives.
It’s a festive time of year, but it can also be a stressful time of year, especially for older people.  Seniors can become easily overwhelmed with all the shopping, too much food, too many parties, sending out cards, and the list goes on!  By being sensitive to those feelings and planning accordingly, everyone can have a good time.

On Saturday, November 19, Single Mothers Outreach will be highlighting artists and honorees at the Empowering HeArts “Breaking Barriers” reception.  The event will take place at the Dianne G. Van Hook University Center at College of the Canyons at 6 p.m. Enjoy sparkling wine, hors d’ouevres and live music by Grammy nominated R&B singer/songwriter Shanice Wilson.  Shanice is best known for her 90’s hit singles I Love Your Smile and When I Close My Eyes.  The talented artist has also worked with many major recording artists throughout the years.  

One of the more horrific stories in the news this week was the salon shooting in Seal Beach, California.  It was alleged that at least eight people were killed by a man enraged over a custody battle.  Issues of custody commonly arise in Family Law cases.  But they do not all have to be bitter custody disputes.
Prior to the break up of a marriage, in most instances, both parents are actively engaged in raising the children.  Sure, one parent may spend more time with the children because the other parent works.  But there are few cases where both parents are not involved in actively taking care of the kids.  So, if a parent can take care of the child while the marriage is intact, why does it become a problem after the commencement of dissolution proceedings? 

In all of its 18-year history in the city of Santa Clarita, NorthPark Community Church has always put a high priority on providing a really excellent worship experience. We believe when worship is focused on who God really is and is done well, it can elevate us. NorthPark has recently brought in a new Worship Leader from Atlanta Georgia. His name is Jeff Chandler, and if you haven’t heard the name already, you soon will!
Jeff Chandler is a real “rock star” in the world of Christian music and his single “I Know You’re There” recently went platinum. He and his family of seven have now made California their home and he’s taking the worship experience at NorthPark to a whole new level.

If you don’t have an estate plan for your family, there are five things you can do for free to make sure you at least have some basic tools in place.
1. If you don’t even have a will, download a free will form from the California Bar Association (www.CalBar.org).  It’s better than nothing, and if you can’t find the form, just call my office and we will send you the direct link.
2. Check your 401k’s, IRA’s and Life Insurance policies to make sure the correct beneficiaries are designated.

Often times, beginning a new school year can cause stress and anxiety for both parents and children.  Even less complicated transitions to a new teacher or classroom or even to a new group of peers can leave children requiring extra family support.  Research has shown that a parent’s involvement in their student’s education leads to more positive outcomes in:
• Academic success
• Higher student self-concept

When considering Chapter 7 bankruptcy, a debtor must evaluate all his assets (house, car, bank accounts, etc.), to determine the value of what he owns and make sure that he will be able to protect his assets if he files Chapter 7 bankruptcy.
In recent years, home values have declined, so some debtors do not have equity in their home and they can file a Chapter 7 case without concern that the Trustee will try to liquidate their home.  The Trustee is subject to the same secured debt as the debtor, so a property that is worth less than the loan amount will not interest the Trustee.

Trust, honesty, empathy, compassion are all qualities we seek when establishing a professional relationship with our therapist.  We also want our therapist to have the experience and knowledge to help us create new ways to improve our health and well being, giving us the tools to enhance our lives and overcome obstacles.  Great care should be taken when trying to find the right therapists for you.
Compassionate Solutions provides an array of therapeutic services aimed at all ages, for individuals, couples, children and families. 

The loss of a loved one is difficult to cope with, but if the loved one left debts behind, it can be even tougher.  It is important to know who is responsible -- and who is not responsible -- for the debts of a deceased person.  This is even more true now than in the past, because creditors and debt collectors have become very aggressive lately about contacting a deceased person’s family members and trying to get them to pay debts.

The Legislature has decided child support will be determined by formula with each County free to slightly vary that formula to determine what is known as “Guideline” child support.
The Legislature further declared computer programs utilizing this formula must be used when calculating child support.  Los Angeles uses the formula established by Santa Clara County, and the computer program employing it is known as the “DissoMaster.”

Busy, busy, busy…Sometimes it seems as if there’s never enough time to clean the house, do the dishes, clean the carpets and more.  Our “to do” lists get longer and longer as the days go by and daily chores consume most of our time.  So take the burden of cleaning away and ask for help.  Trust the professionals at White Orchid Maid Service, and let the experts care for your entire home or office!

Having a child in trouble is a traumatic experience for any parent.  Following these steps can help you get through this tough time.
1. Don’t panic!  Having a child accused of a crime is an emotionally traumatic event and in order to prevent being overwhelmed by “The System” it is important to remain calm.  This can be a very scary time full of anger and confusion and you must resist the urge to place blame.

How you can make sure your children are properly cared for in your absence, whether that absence occurs by death, disability, or for any other reason?
When it comes to caring for children while parents are unavailable, the system requires an “opt out.”  That simply means the system and its general rules, whether those rules are good or bad, apply as the default.  It means, in short, that if you and your spouse are ever unable to provide care for your children even temporarily, a judge may decide whose care they should be put in and what is best for them.

Opiates have become epidemic everywhere and our suburb is no exception; 400 overdoses since 2009, nine deaths since January 2010 right here in SCV.  It’s important to know what opiates are, how they work and what to do if you suspect a family member of using them or if you yourself need help.  All opiates are severely addicting, both physically and psychologically.  The story I hear as a counselor is almost always the same: A little pot in high school and by end of freshman year they are smoking regularly.  Pot these days is unbelievably potent and is in many ways a distant cousin to the opiate high. 

Which upcoming event in your life are you most looking forward to?  How much joy and relaxation do your favorite hobby/pastime provide for you?  Which close friend do you confide in the most?  Have you started planning your 2012 vacation yet?  As you ponder the answers to these questions, take a moment to consider if due to health related restraints you were no longer able to do these things.  Although many consider a more sedentary lifestyle a normal part of aging, we should not underestimate the value of socialization in our lives.

Do you receive Medicare benefits?  What about your parents, your grandparents, your spouse?  What if your elderly parent is hospitalized, and the hospital suddenly tells you they are being “discharged.”  And, what if your parent cannot care for themselves, cannot walk, isn’t eating, is weak, what if they have dementia… what will you do?  What can you do?
The process of having a patient leave the hospital is called “discharge planning.”  There are a number of rules that must be followed by the hospital, but unfortunately these rules are often not followed correctly.  Discharge planning is very important – what will happen to the elderly patient once they leave the hospital?  Will they get the right care outside of the hospital? 

Although Thursday, November 24 has been designated as the day that we set aside to give thanks, we should actually live in a constant state of thanksgiving and not simply reserve gratitude for a special occasion or day.  Too often Thanksgiving is the only day that we intentionally set aside time to remember how truly blessed we really are.  Throughout the year we desire to do more and have more. 

Impulsive, reckless, risky, excitement, sense-seeking, peer-acceptance... these are key words that apply to those under 24.  Remember 22 is the new 18, 24 is the new 20 so if your adult-child is under this age they may seem more immature to you than they should be.  Unfortunately, the youth don’t see themselves this way, largely because they are surrounded by others who are similar in nature.  It makes no difference how you raised them, they have their own sub-culture and their own system of right/wrong, validation, rewards, honor, character etc.  Those key words can make them difficult to deal with as they live by a set of priorities that makes no sense to the 40-something.  They will speed at 100 mph on the freeway then become inert and apathetic, sleeping or lounging for 12 hours straight; there’s no rhyme or reason to it.